A Song Of Ice And Fire
by sleepy-emo
Summary: Erza had always told Natsu not to walk on the edge of the kerb in case he fell off and hurt himself. Now Gray's the one who's falling and Natsu is the only one who can save him from himself. Written for NaNoWriMo 50,000 Smuts Challenge. Season 1 Cannon
1. I Somehow Find You And I Collide

**Hello and welcome to 'Sleepy's Emo Corner'. This is not going to be a happy story but I'll make up for it with lots of smut (as this is written for my NaNoWriMo 50,000 Smuts challenge). This is more a prologue than an actual chapter and, I don't think I really specified but, in this chapter everyone is how ever old they are in the flashbacks. This is also set in Season 1 cannon. Hope you enjoy :D**

"Ow! Erza that hurts!" Natsu whined wincing as she rubbed the antiseptic soaked cotton pad over the wound under his eye again. She glared up at him from underneath her brilliant red fringe, eyes blazing.

"If you stopped squirming all the damn time it wouldn't hurt as much!" she snapped. Natsu pouted and turned his face away. Mira, who had been watching from the next table over with Lisanna and Elfman, laughed harshly.

"It's because your first aid skills are rubbish Scarlet." she stated. Erza glared at her as she jumped down from the table top and sauntered over. "I could do a much better job with my eyes closed."

"Beat it Strauss or I will make you." Erza growled dropping the cotton pad and squaring up to Mira, anger radiating off her. Mira scoffed.

"Save it Scarlet you don't stand a chance against me." she stated.

"You want a bet?" Erza growled. "Or are you too scared to show you're all talk and skanky clothes."

"What did you say to me?" Mira growled. Waves of anger could be felt coming off the both of them as they glared at each other. The air became thick with tension and the promise of a fight, making many other members of the guild look round. Erza reached out a hand to summon her sword when another, larger one grabbed her wrist. She looked round in surprise to see Macao standing behind her restraining her.

"Now," he said sternly looking at both of them. "is this any way for young ladies to behave?"

"She started it!" Erza cried petulantly.

"What's it got to do with you anyway, old man?" Mira growled folding her arms over her chest and turning away, angry that their fight had been interrupted.

"Well nothing," Macao replied. "but don't you think rather than fighting each other you should be helping Natsu out?" The 'and not destroying the guild hall again' was hugely implied. Both girls glared at each other before looking over at Natsu, who was still looking rather pitiful covered in grazes.

"Fine." Erza growled turning away from Mira and back to Natsu. Mira went back to where she had been sitting on the table top. She smirked, folding her arms over her chest again as Erza picked up a new cotton pad and poured some antiseptic onto it. She laughed harshly again as Natsu supressed another wince.

"You want to let me have a go at patching you up, Natsu." she stated. "I'd be better than Ham Hands over there."

"No thanks you're crazier than she is!" Natsu shot back. "Ow!" he cried again as Erza stuck the antiseptic covered cotton over one of his wounds a little harder than before.

"Will you stop squirming!" Erza shouted angrily and Natsu immediately stopped wriggling in his seat and sat stock still. Grumbling to herself Erza pulled a plaster out of the first aid box on the floor and began opening it. "Didn't I tell you?" she snapped as she stuck it over the graze under Natsu's eye. "Didn't I tell you that if you walked on the edge of the curb you'd fall off and get yourself hurt?"

"I didn't fall!" Natsu snapped angrily. "Gray pushed me!"

"Is this true Gray?" Erza asked tuning in my direction. Throughout this whole exchange I had been watching, leaning on the wall a few feet away, arms folded. I looked round when she said my name and scoffed.

"No, Flame Brain just wants to blame someone so he doesn't come off as a total idiot for face-planting the curb." I was lying I had pushed him. No way I was going to admit that though. Erza turned back to Natsu.

"Honestly Natsu you can't blame Gray for this." she scolded. "I told you not to walk on the edge of the curb; you didn't listen and now you're going to have to deal with it."

"But Erza…" Natsu whined as she finished putting a plaster on another of his grazes.

"No Natsu, I don't want to hear it!" she snapped. "You shouldn't have disobeyed me in the first place. Now apologise to Gray for trying to get him in trouble." Natsu glared in my direction before catching a glance at the death glare Erza was giving him and he relented.

"Sorry for trying to get you in trouble Gray." he snarled through gritted teeth. I gave him a look of utter disdain and disinterest.

"Whatever." I replied pushing myself off the wall and leaving the hall. Once I was out in one of the empty corridors I allowed myself to smirk. I know I shouldn't have gotten Natsu into trouble like that, or pushed him in the first place, but he had been pissing me off more than usual lately and I couldn't deal with the reason why so acting out was my best way of coping.

"Hey!" His angry voice rang out down that corridor. I turned to face him, still looking perpetually bored with my hands in my pockets. He was glaring at me with the fire in his eyes that he always has when he wants to fight.

"What do you want?" I asked flatly as he stormed down the corridor towards me. Once he reached me he jabbed me angrily in the shoulder.

"You're a jerk!" he shouted. "You did push me, you know you did, and then you went and denied it! Why?" I shrugged.

"It was fun."

"You're such a jerk!" he shouted again and I could see tears forming in the corner of his eyes. He blinked furiously obviously not wanting me to see. "I don't get why you're like this with me!" I could have just come out and said it. I could have just told him the real reason why I had been giving him such a hard time recently. I could have but I didn't. Instead I grabbed him by that stupid scarf he's always wearing and pulled him into a harsh kiss.

I pulled away almost instantly and when I opened my eyes he was staring at me, his own huge with surprise. I let go of his scarf and took a step back but he continued to stare at me as if I was some kind of demon. Slowly he lifted his hand to his lips, his fingers gently brushing against the plump flesh, still unable to take his eyes off mine. I couldn't stand the way he was looking at me and not reacting so I took a step towards him.

As soon as I move he seemed to spring back to life. He jumped violently before turning and running down the corridor, clearly desperate to put as much distance between us as humanly possible. I sighed as he disappeared. I knew he would have reacted that way but there was nothing I could have done about it. (Ok I could have thought that through a little more but there we go). The thing is that the harsh truth of the matter is that I'm in love with Natsu Dragneel and I had no idea how to deal with it.

**Author's Disclaimer: I also recently found out (because I don't care enough about the series) that this is also the name of the Game of Thrones series... ooops, oh well**


	2. I Want To Live Not Just Survive

**So now we're in Cannon time and the guys are the age they are in the first series about seven/eight years has passed since the events of chapter one and things are about to heat up hope you enjoy :D**

"Hey Flame Brain can I bum a light?" I asked Natsu tossing my lighter onto the table top after my fifth attempt and failure to get it to start. Natsu tore his attention away from the 'Requests Board' and looked over in my direction, glaring. He was always glaring. Whenever I spoke to him, no matter what it was about (although most of the time it was to insult him), he would always regard me with complete disdain.

Things between myself and Natsu had never been anything but rocky at best but since I kissed him when we were kids things went from bad to worse. They eased up slightly when Lucy joined the guild and we ended up forming a team. Then he was practically forced to interact with me but it was still quite tense being around him a lot of the time. I could never tell whether he wanted to shout at me or strangle me, it was always one of the two.

I on the other hand was still hopelessly infatuated with him. I can't explain it – I don't even know how it started – but I've just always been completely and utterly in love with him. I didn't help my cause by just kissing him when we were younger and when he asked me about it afterwards I told him that I was just fucking with him and it meant nothing. I definitely should have told him then but the look he had given me after he kissed me stopped me. Since then we've always been at each other's throats. Him because he hates me and me because I have to keep up the façade of hating him.

"If you're going to kill yourself can you at least have the decency to do it in a way that won't affect everyone else's health?" he snarled in disgust before stalking away.

"Guess that's a no then." I called sarcastically after him. I was about to put the cigarette I was holding back in the packet when someone clicked a lighter on in front of my face. I cast a glance over at the person holding the lighter and saw Laxus smirking at me. I smirked back. "Thanks."

"No problem." he replied. I put the cigarette to my lips and placed the tip in the centre of the flame, inhaling deeply. I pulled back and exhaled a plume of grey smoke. I could feel Laxus' eyes on me the entire time. I leaned back in my chair, making sure that Laxus got a good view of the top of my chest through my open shirt.

"When did you get back?" I asked not looking at him but that same smirk still playing about my lips. "I thought your mission was supposed to last till the end of the week."

"Finished up early." he stated before leaning closer. "Why? Did you miss me?"

"Not a chance in hell." It was true but I said it in jest so he would think that I was only teasing him. The truth is I didn't miss Laxus because of the time we spent together; I missed him because of the distraction he provided.

I knew that I would never be able to be with Natsu – after what I said to him when we were kids I knew there was no way in hell that he was ever going to believe that I really did have feelings for him. So a couple of years ago when I was feeling particularly down about it I got drunk and hooked up with Laxus. The sex was pretty good if a little violent (Laxus is the kind of guy who likes to overpower his partner and dominate them completely) and we ended up in this pseudo relationship thing. He has sex with other people but I don't think he'd be so lenient with me if he discovered I was doing the same.

"Maybe I should come to yours tonight and show you what you should have been missing." he smirked purring against my ear. Without moving my head I cast my eyes in Natsu's direction, who was still looking up at the request board, and took another drag from my cigarette. If the guy I was in love with was disgusted by the very sight of me there wasn't much else I could do about it. I turned to Laxus and smirked, exhaling smoke once more.

"Sure thing."

* * *

><p>I had gone to Laxus' that night and the entire time I had thought of Natsu, more often than not it was the only thing that would make me cum. I had to keep my thoughts half in check though as Laxus was the type who liked you to scream his name while he fucked you and I didn't want to think about the fallout of accidently moaning Natsu's. I already left our sessions together sporting a few first degree burns from his lightning magic and I really didn't need any more.<p>

The next morning I had gone to the guild hall and had Gramps ranting and raving about 'breaking rules' and 'severe punishments'. When I ask what was going on he grabbed me by the collar and told me that Natsu had dragged Lucy and Happy off on an 'S Class' mission and I was to bring them back before they got to Galuna Island. At first I had refused but then Gramps threatened to kick me out too if I didn't so I packed up and high-tailed it after them.

The plan had been to intercept them and drag them back to the guild but that hadn't happened. In the end I had ended up going with them and coming face to face with my old friend, Lyon, in his attempt to revive the demon Deliora. We had ended up getting into a fight with Lyon and his friends and during the fray it seemed as if the only possible way for us to win would be for me to use a piece of magic that I never thought I'd have to use.

I had readied myself to use the 'Iced Shell' spell that Ur had used to seal Deliora in the first place. I was prepared to sacrifice myself and I was prepared to die to protect the people of the island, to protect my friends and, most of all, to protect Natsu. But even that hadn't gone according to plan. Lyon had realised what I was about to do and tried to talk me out of it. I had remained resolute right up until the point Natsu's fist had connected with my jaw. I may have been prepared to die but he wasn't prepared to let me die.

Later that night, after we had won the battle, I was in one of the huts the islanders had allowed Natsu, Lucy, Erza and I to use. I was inspecting the beginning of a large bruise on my chin from where Natsu had hit me. I sighed. I was glad that he had stopped me in a way but at the same time it just meant that I had to continue living this lie that I had built up for myself.

I pulled a packet of cigarettes out of my trouser pocket and pulled one out along with the lighter I kept inside the packet too. I put the cigarette between my lips and was about to light it when a loud cough from the hut's entrance made me stop and look around. Natsu was standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, glaring at me. I put the cigarette and lighter back in the packet, blinking in confusion, wondering what on earth he was doing in here.

"Hey…" I began tailing off when I couldn't think of any other words to say. He was staring at me, his brows knitted together. He looked angry but at the same time he looked as if he was thinking very hard about what he wanted to say. I just stared, unmoving, and waited for him to respond.

"That was a really fucking stupid thing you did back there." he said finally. I knew exactly what he meant; trying to use 'Iced Shell'. I chuckled softly turning away from him and pulling the cigarette out of the packet again before placing it between my lips.

"It's fine, I was calling his bluff." I stated my words muffled slightly from the effort of holding the cigarette in my mouth. I lit it and took a deep drag. "Besides," I added exhaling. "I knew you would have jumped in to stop me."

"You're lying." Natsu said suddenly. I turned to stare at him. His expression was hard and I couldn't tell what he was thinking. He was right though I was lying. I had been ready to give it all up back in that cavern but I thought bravado could fool him into thinking I was fine and making it seem like I hadn't. Rather than tell him that, though, I went for the defensive option.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"So you're telling me you weren't prepared to throw your life away back there?" he asked incredulously.

"Like I said I was calling his bluff." I shrugged taking another drag of my cigarette.

"Bullshit." Natsu growled. He pushed himself off the door frame and made his way over to me. "You gave up tonight!"

"I didn't…" I began, glaring at him.

"Don't lie to me!" he shouted. He was standing right in front of me now and it would have been so easy for me to reach over and kiss him again but I didn't particularly want a matching bruise on the other side of my face. "You wanted to die. You've been trying to for ages, that's why you're always sucking on those damn cancer sticks. You never used to be like this so what changed? Why did you suddenly give up Gray?"

"What's it to you?" I hissed. I was just as angry as he was by this point and I wasn't about to let him make me feel guilty for this. "We're not friends; you don't even like me so why do you suddenly care if I live or not?" Angrily he reached over and grabbed my shoulders roughly as there was no shirt to grab on to. Tension made the air around us thick and I wondered if he was going to hit me again but then the fire left his eyes and his head dropped forward.

"Because I care too much to let you go like that." His voice was soft and I barely heard him but those words went straight through my heart like a dagger. I could barely find my voice and it stuck in my throat as I tried to speak.

"What?"

"God fucking damn it!" he groaned angrily looking up at me. "It's your fault I'm like this!"

"Like what?" I asked but rather than answer me he used the leverage he had on my shoulders to pull me towards him and smash our lips together. He pulled back almost immediately, just as I had done when we were kids and stared at me, his hands still on my shoulders. My hands hung uselessly at my sides, my eyes wide with shock and all I could do was stare at him in confusion, trying to wrap my head around what had just happened.

His grip tightened on my shoulders momentarily before he suddenly dropped his arms when I failed to do anything other than stare. He dropped his gaze suddenly looking defeated and turned to leave. I instantly snapped back to myself and sprang to life. I had wanted this for well over seven years now and I wasn't about to let him just walk out of here like that without another word.

I dropped my cigarette to the floor, stubbing it out with my boot, before I followed him. I reached out and grabbed the back of his scarf just before he reached the door. He spun round to face me, that fire back in his eyes again. He grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and pulled me into another searing kiss, entwining his fingers in the hair just above the base of my neck. He pulled harshly and I opened my mouth, gasping at the pain shooting through my scalp.

No sooner did he have my mouth open then he plunged his tongue into my mouth, massaging it against mine. I moaned against his lips, clutching at his vest as his other hand snaked round my waist to pull me right up against his body. I could feel his heat radiating off him and could feel all the muscles in his chest rubbing against mine. I clutched harder at his scarf relishing the contact, groaning loudly as he sunk his teeth into my bottom lip. The hand that hand been on my hip reached down to grab a handful of my arse, grinding our crotches together.

I needed this. I had needed this for so long and now it was finally happening. I didn't want to waste a second so I plunged one of my hands into his hair, pulling him closer and deepening out kiss. Of all the times I had ever imagined kissing Natsu none of them lived up to the real thing; the way his tongue took control of mine and the way he gave just enough pain through biting my lip or tugging my hair to let me know this was real. I was already half hard and I was just about ready to rip the rest of his clothes, wanting this to continue until we were both spent. But it wasn't meant to be.

"Hey Natsu, Gray? Are you guys in there?" Lucy called from outside the hut and instantly we sprang apart. Natsu quickly fixed his vest and hair before calling out.

"Yeah, just coming." he told her. He made his way over to the door and just before he left he turned back to me. "Sorry about your face man." he added nodding at the bruise on my chin.

"It's ok." I panted. I could only assume that he was saying that for Lucy's benefit as she was standing just outside the door as he left. He disappeared and as he did Lucy stuck her head in the door.

"The tribe's people are cooking a feast for us for saving them, Are you coming Gray?" she asked.

"Yeah sure," I replied still panting slightly. "I'll be out in a bit."

"Are you ok?" she asked furrowing her brow in concern. "You look a bit flushed."

"I'm fine," I replied. "just a bit tired. You go ahead, I'll be out in a minute."

"Ok, well don't be too long." she smiled and nodded before leaving. As soon as she was gone, I sank to my knees putting my head in my hands and tried to get my hammering heart back to normal while trying to wrap my head around what the hell just happened.

**Oh man it's been ages since I watched the Galuna Island arc! Well guess I know what I'm doing when I get home from work tonight**


	3. Your Lips Are Venomous Poison

**I'd say that this is shaping up to be the darkest thing I've ever written, sorry this chapter's quite long there were two massive important bits that I didn't want to separate. This sort of reflects my mood over the past two days (as I haven't been doing so good) anyway, hope you enjoy it**

The kiss that Natsu and I shared on Galuna Island quickly became one of those things (much like our first kiss) that happened but we never talked about. There was a part of me that desperately wanted him to bring it up and wanted to bring it up myself – I needed to know why he had kissed me, I couldn't just leave it but at the same time I couldn't just go up to him and ask him why he had kissed me. If I did I knew that he'd probably deny it and then we get into a fight resulting in one of us punching the other's lights out.

Thinking about it and him kept me awake at night. Whenever Laxus was in town I'd go to him just to try and get my mind of Natsu but even that didn't work as well as I hoped it would. The only time I was ever able to get a decent night's sleep was when I was on a mission with him, Erza and Lucy. When I could hear him breathing slowly beside me only then was I able to actually find some respite. I really had it bad and there was nothing I could do about that except try to ride it out and pray that it went away.

We had just finished a simple mission about six months after the incident on Galuna Island and were packing up to return home. Natsu had gone wandering off into the woods we had been camping in after stating that he could smell something, Happy going with him, leaving Lucy, Erza and I to pack up the camp. We had just finished putting the last of the bags into the cart we had used when I felt as if someone or something was watching me. I stiffened, looking around the small clearing.

"Gray what's wrong?" Erza asked when she noticed I had stopped.

"I don't know." I muttered. I could still feel that eerie feeling of an unseen pair of eyes on me. Part of me toyed with the notion that it was Natsu about to jump out and scare Lucy like a dick but I was certain that it wasn't. This feeling was alien and made chills creep down my spine; I never got that from Natsu. "We should get going and head home soon." I stated trying to sound calm, like I wasn't suggesting like I knew that were being watched.

"But what about Natsu?" Lucy asked.

"We'll grab him on the way out." I replied turning back to the cart. "Now let's…" But I never got to finish my sentence. As I turned round I found myself face to face with three huge, intimidating men blocking my path. I glanced over my shoulder and saw another four of them standing in front of Lucy and Erza, encircling us and blocking all of our exits. From the shadow of the trees a final figure stepped forward, this one smaller and thinner than most of the others but by no means any less threatening.

"Well, well, well," the man said smirking. "what do we have here boys? Some trespassers in our forest?"

"We're just leaving." Erza stated and made to move slightly but one of the huge men in front of her took a menacing step towards her.

"I don't think so." the first man said, his eyes darkening. "Not until proper introductions have been given, it is only polite you know. Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"We're just passing through." Erza told them. "We didn't realise this was a gated community. If you let us pass we'll be out of your way as soon as possible."

"You can leave when we have your names," the man stated. "and the reason why you're 'just passing through' our forest." Erza narrowed her eyes.

"We're just three travellers trying to get home." she replied coldly. "We didn't realise we were walking through someone else's property." The man narrowed his eyes at her. I shifted slightly, changing my stance so that I could cast a spell if I needed too. I knew I couldn't take them all on at once but I knew that I could at least provide a distraction so the others could join the fight too. There was no way we were going to get out of this without a fight and losing that fight wouldn't be an option.

I was about to spring into action when Lucy cried out in surprise and terror from beside Erza. I looked round, dropping my stance, to see one of the huge men had stepped forward and grabbed her by the waist. He took hold of her right wrist, pulling her arm up above her head so it was level with his face. He smirked, tightening his hold as she began to struggle against him.

"Hey Rufus," he said, addressing the man who had done all the talking so far. "looks like we've got ourselves a few Fairies here." He turned Lucy's wrist around showing her Guild Emblem to the rest of the group. The man, Rufus, smirked.

"Then we should teach these Fairies what happens to them when they step into Demon territory." As soon as the words were out of his mouth I suddenly noticed the horned skull on his neck that I had originally thought was a tattoo. My eyes widened and I felt a chill run down my spine; we had run into Demon Hoard, a renegade group of bandits that had become a Dark Guild. They were known for murder, rape and pillage and no one who had ever faced them had lived to tell the tale.

"Then we'll also teach you what happens when you mess with Fairy Tail!" Erza shouted reaching out a hand to summon her sword. Rufus' eyes narrowed.

"Bind her hands!" he shouted and before either of us could react one of the other men grabbed both of Erza's hands and forced then behind her back. He pulled her arms so hard as he forced her into submission I heard her shoulder pop out of joint before the pain registered and her screams filled the air.

"Erza!" Lucy screamed, struggling harder against the thug's hold on her but to no avail. He now had both her hands held above her head and her back was pressed right up against his chest. Anger fuelled me and I took up my previous stance.

"You'll pay for that!" I shouted. "Ice Make…"

"Restrain him!" Rufus shouted before I could finish my spell. Each of my hands were grabbed by two different thugs and pulled out from my body so there was no possible way I could use my magic. Rufus smirked, sauntering over to me and taking hold of my chin, forcing me to look at him. "How do you intend to make me pay now Ice Wizard?"

"Fuck you." I spat. He smirked and dropped my chin. He studied me for a moment before the back of his hand connected with my face. I was left reeling from the force but recovered quickly as I heard Lucy gasp in terror. Rufus was standing in front of her, looking her up and down as if appraising her.

"This one will get a good price." he smirked, taking hold of her chin so he could look her face over. His hand then trailed down her neck to her chest where he grabbed a handful of one of her breasts. She closed her eyes, turning her face away and biting her lip to stop herself from crying out. "A very good price."

"Leave her alone!" I shouted, struggling against the hold on me.

"Quite!" Rufus snarled over his shoulder before moving on to Erza. The pain in her shoulder had caused her to fall forward against the hold she was in, her neck unable or unwilling to hold her head up anymore. He placed a fingertip under her chin and tilted her face upwards. "And the infamous Titania of Fairy Tail will fetch an incredibly high price, especially," he chuckled heartlessly, letting her head drop. "incapacitated."

"What do you mean price?" Lucy asked her voice trembling. Rufus smirked lecherously at her, taking a strand of her hair and running it through his fingers.

"I know people who will pay a fine price for beauties such as yourselves," he purred and I saw Lucy shiver. "even after we're done with you."

"No!" I cried struggling harder against the two men holding me. They were a lot stronger than I was though and all I could feel was the bones in my wrists grating together. Rufus turned round to glare at me.

"Him we don't need." he stated. "Kill the spare."

"No!" Lucy and Erza in unison both of them struggling as much as they could against their captors. Before I could do anything I was forced onto my knees, my arms still held at my sides and my head pushed forward so my neck was exposed. I heard a sword being unsheathed and within seconds I felt the cold metal against my neck as the one holding it took aim.

I closed my eyes. This was it. This was how I was going to die; helpless, pathetic and unable to do anything to save my friends. I couldn't protect Lucy or Erza and I had never had the courage to tell Natsu how I actually felt about him. There was still so much I had thought I was going to do and now I was never going to have the chance. This time I wasn't prepared to die, when the choice was not my own. I took a deep breath and waited for the pain and then it all to be over.

"Fire Dragon Roar!" Natsu's voice shouted, echoing around the entire clearing. I didn't have time to look up before I felt burning hot flames shooting through the air just above my back. The hold on my arms vanished and as soon as the flames had dispersed I stumbled to my feet. Natsu stood squaring off to Rufus, his fists encased in fire, pure white hot rage etched across his face. The thugs who had been holding me now struggling to put out the flames on their clothes and the ones holding Lucy and Erza were looking ready to cut and run. "You dare to try and take the lives of members of Fairy Tail?" Natsu snarled at Rufus. "I'll show you the true meaning of pain!"

I'd never seen him that angry before; his rage could be felt coming off him in the heat of his flames. I would not want to have been in Rufus' position for anything in the world as Natsu's rage exploded in flames around him, destroying everything in its path.

* * *

><p>Once Natsu had jumped into the fight it was over before it had even begun. Rufus and the rest of Demon Hoard were defeated, detained and, once the Magic Council had been informed of their capture, were taken away in shackles. We had gone back to the guild, shaken but otherwise unharmed save for Erza's shoulder which had been dislocated and needed to be popped back into place. While Mira had been fussing over Erza and Lucy I had slipped out of the hall and into the night.<p>

I walked along the river, absentmindedly kicking a stone, trying not to think about what had nearly happened today but I couldn't stop replaying the entire thing in my head. I could still hear the sword being unsheathed, still feel the fear and helplessness coursing through me and still feel that realisation hitting me that I was about to die. The more I thought about it my chest began to get tighter. I was struggling to breathe, my heart was hammering in my chest and I was shaking and sweating – I was breaking down.

I slipped into a nearby alleyway, leaned against the wall and put my hand over my eyes trying to block out the world. I felt pathetic and helpless and weaker than I've ever felt in my life. With trembling hands I reached into my pocket and pulled a cigarette and my lighter from the packet. I put the cigarette in my mouth and tried to click my lighter on. My hands were still badly shaking and I couldn't get the damn thing to start.

After a few attempt I gave up, throwing both the lighter and cigarette against the wall in frustration and sinking to my knees. I sat on the cold, damp floor, tears pouring from my eyes, hunching over myself so I could be as small and inconspicuous as possible. God, I wanted it to be over. I wanted to stop feeling scared and helpless and to stop living this lie of bravado. And I suddenly realised it could be. I had a pen-knife in my pocket and I had no problem dying by my own hand. I was just about to reach into my pocket to retrieve it when a figure appeared in the entrance to the alleyway.

"Hey," Natsu's voice said softly. I turned to face him. "you ok?" I laughed humourlessly, turning away from him to wipe the tears from my face even though I was sure he had already seen them.

"Sure, why not?" I replied. "How are Lucy and Erza?" I asked when he didn't respond.

"They're ok." he replied. "Lucy's pretty shaken up and Erza's still in a fair amount of pain but I'm more worried about you right now."

"Why?" I scoffed as I felt him sit down next to me. "I didn't get hurt."

"You nearly died Gray."

"I've nearly died before." I pointed out. "Remember Galuna Island."

"Yeah but this time I was nearly too late to save you." he murmured. I only just heard him but his words made my chest tighten. He leaned his head against my shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"For nearly not making it in time." he replied. He turned to face me and I could see tears in his eyes. He closed his eyes and reached round to cup the back of my neck, pulling me close and pressing our foreheads together.

"Natsu…" I breathed. He was so close my heart felt as if it was going to break out of my chest. I wanted so desperately to reach over and kiss him but I felt too weak, too powerless and too shaken up but this afternoon to do anything.

"I can't just sit by and watch you slowly kill yourself anymore." he whispered. "I need you to live too much to just let you die." With his words my resolve shattered.

I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him into a frenzied, passionate kiss plunging my tongue into his mouth in an attempt to feel something that wasn't encompassing fear and helplessness. He responded with equal fervour, grabbing a handful of my hair and tugging until I was moaning in pleasure and pain into his mouth. He shifted slightly so that he could straddle my waist, still keeping our lips connected.

I wrapped my free arm around his waist and slipped in up the back of his vest, relishing in the heat coming off his skin. One of his hands moved to cup my face while the other began to slip down my already exposed chest, stopping to rub his thumb over one of my nipples, teasing it. I groaned, my head falling back against the wall and breaking the kiss as I desperately tried to pull air into my lungs.

"Where's your shirt Stripper?" he asked smirking.

"I don't know." I panted. "Guild Hall maybe."

"I'm not complaining." he grinned. "Makes things much easier." His hand continued down its path to the top of my trousers as he began kissing, biting and licking my neck. I could feel his fingers undoing the buttons on my trousers. I grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"Wait!" I panted. Did I really want the first time I had sex with the guy I had been in love with for longer than I could think about to be in an alleyway where anyone could see us? He pulled back, his eyes unfocused and cloudy with lust.

"What?"

"Stand up." I commanded. Yes, yes I did, I decided. I had waited too long to have Natsu and now I was granted the opportunity. I wasn't about to waste it and give us both time to really think about what we were doing. Natsu looked at me quizzically but dutifully got to his feet. I repositioned myself so that I was on my knees in front of him, I could see his half hard cock jutting out, straining against the confined of his clothes.

"What are you…?" he began but stopped as I ran my hands up his clothed thighs. I felt his entire body stiffen as I slowly rubbed a hand over his cock before beginning to undo the buttons.

I hooked my fingers inside the waistband of both his trousers and boxers. I saw him shiver slightly at my icy touch and I looked up at him and smirked. I needed this so badly. Not just because I had been fantasising about Natsu ever since I first discovered what masturbation was but because I needed to feel something. I slipped his clothes down his legs, leaving them to pool at his ankles, and he hissed as the cool night air hit his skin. I slipped my hands back up his thighs, relishing their warmth, his cock now fully hard and right in front of my face.

I licked my lips before opening them slightly and taking his head in my mouth. I swirled my tongue around the tip, the strangled groans from above me spurring me on before completely engulfing him. One of Natsu's hands tangled itself in my hair, fingers tugging gently as I swallowed around his head. His soft moans and pants reached my ears as I continued to suck him, running my tongue over the huge vein on the underside of his cock. His grip tightened and I felt him stiffen underneath me.

With one hand holding on to his hip for support I ran the other up the inside of his thigh until I reached his balls. I took both of them in my palm, massaging them as I swallowed around him, picking up my pace. I felt his entire body still suddenly and his grip on my hair tightened to the point where it was almost painful and he pulled my head backwards as he came, hot sticky ropes of cum shooting out the end of his cock to coat my face. His grip loosened slightly and he was panting as he looked down at me, me grinning up at him.

"I would have swallowed you know." I teased before licking some of his cum off my top lip. A low growl sounded in his chest, his grip still on the back of my head he pulled me to my feet. He leaned forward, his tongue poking out, before he licked some of his cum off my cheek.

"I know but I've gotta say you look really hot with your face covered in my cum." he smirked before pulling me into a searing kiss. Our tongues collided instantly as my fingers threaded in his hair, pulling him closer towards me and relishing the fact that this was actually happening and was real. His hands were all over me; in my hair, running over my spine and slipping into the back of my trousers to grasp my backside. He ground his hips against my crotch and I could feel that he was still rock hard against me. I pulled back and smirked at him.

"Still hard I see?" I teased.

"I'm a Dragon Slayer." he shrugged. "My stamina is just better than most people's." I chuckled softly, shaking my head.

"You and your bullshit Dragon Slayer magic." I replied. He took hold of the back of my head, licking more cum from my cheek.

"Means we can carry on longer though." he whispered hotly in my ear. A strangled moan left my throat – the prospect of getting to do more with him was too much and I needed this to happen soon. He slipped his vest off before handing it too me. "So you can clean your face off." he explained to my confused stare as he removed his scarf.

"Thanks." I replied before wiping the rest of his leftover cum from my face. As soon as I was done he was on me again, kissing me furiously, hands roaming over my body his vest falling from my grasp to the floor. I wasted no time in doing the same to him, wanting to feel as much contact as possible. His hands made their way down to my trousers before he undid the buttons and slipped his hands inside my underwear, pushing them and my trousers down, to grasp at my backside.

"God fucking damn it, I've needed this." he panted in my ear as I also grasped a handful of the firm flesh of his backside.

"Me to." I panted. "For so long."

"How do you want to do this?" he asked in between placing hot kisses against my neck. My head fell back, allowing him more skin to suck and bite, and I tried to process his question through the hazy fog of lust.

"Do you have anything?" I asked.

"Like lube? No."

"Neither do I." I replied. Could we make it back to either of our houses in this state? Probably not but I didn't really see another way around it.

"Then you top." he stated. "I'm more resilient."

"Says who?" I glared at him. Was he implying he thought I wasn't as tough as he was?

"Dragon Slayer." he replied as if that explained everything, which in a way it sort of did. I thought about this for a second.

"Still I don't want to take you dry." I stated.

"Then use spit."

"But…"

"Listen," he said cutting me off. "I either need you inside me or need to be inside you pretty fucking quickly. I want you, I need you, I am ok with this."

"Ok." I panted before he smashed our lips together again and I could feel every bit of desperation and passion in that kiss.

Natsu pulled back after a moment, kicked off the rest of his clothes and sank to his hands and knees, positioning himself so that he was spread out in front of me. I knelt on the cold floor of the alleyway behind him after also ridding myself of my clothes. I sucked my fingers, making sure to coat them with saliva, before reaching forward with trembling hands and spreading his cheeks. I slipped the first finger in. I heard him gasp slightly but made no other indication that he was in any pain so began to slowly thrust it in and out of him. After a while the quiet panting became soft moans.

"More." he chocked out. "Please…" Without arguing I slipped the second finger in. Again he made no indication that he was in pain so I continued, scissoring my fingers each time I thrust them into him. He began pushing his hips back into my fingers, trying to get me in deeper and I knew that he was ready.

I pulled my fingers out and a soft whimper of protest slipped past his lips. Still trembling I spat onto my palm and began to rub it over my cock, attempting to get it as slick as possible. It was insufficient but it would have to do. I lined myself up with his entrance, still shaking slightly.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked.

"God yes!" he moaned. "I need you." I didn't need to be told twice. I took a deep, steadying breath before sheathing myself inside him. I heard him wince slightly but still he gave no other indication that he was in pain. I waited for a moment even though feeling him, so tight and hot around me was practically suffocating. After what seemed like forever he panted "Move!"

That was all the encouragement I needed before I pulled out to thrust back in quickly building up to a fast and erratic pace. Heat was radiating off him and he was moaning softly as I drove into him. Sweat was slowly rolling down my neck as I began to thrust in deeper, trying not to lose it before he did. I reached round to grasp his cock, pumping it in time with my thrusts. He jerked suddenly as I also shifted my angle slightly and hit his prostate with each thrust, his muscles clenching around me.

"Natsu," I panted. "I'm so close."

"Me too." he replied in kind. My thrusts became erratic as I felt him tightening and shaking around me before, with a low cry of my name, he came hard tightening around me to the point of painful and dragging me over the edge with him. As I came I felt every single bit of pain, anger, fear and helplessness pour out of me and I clung to Natsu's body as we both continued to ride out our orgasms together.

I pulled out of him and practically collapsed on the floor behind him, Natsu's arms giving out and forcing him to sit back on the floor. He winced slightly as he sat on the cold, hard floor but made no other complaint. I placed a hand to my forehead as I tried to regain my breath and remind myself that what had just happened was, in fact, real. It was only when I felt Natsu's hand on my cheek that I grasped that it wasn't all an illusion that was going to disappear. I took hold of his wrist as he leaned forward and kissed me softly.

"Thank you," I breathed as he pulled away. "for saving me today."

"There was no chance I wouldn't have done." he replied before kissing me again.

**This is by no means the end of the story. There is more - happiness does not dwell here.**


	4. Something In Me That I Despise

**Yep this is definitely the darkest thing I've ever written... I had wanted to upload this yesterday but life and stuff kind of got in the way. Anyway hope you enjoy this as much as you can...**

We never spoke about our night in the alleyway. I wanted to and I think Natsu did too but the following day Laxus returned from a mission and made it very pointedly clear that he still thought of me as his property. The most I had been able to do as he dragged me out of the Guild Hall and back to his house was mouth 'I'm sorry' in Natsu's direction when I caught his eye. He had sighed, running a hand through his hair as if he had no feelings about it either way but his other was clenched into a fist under the table and shaking with rage.

I tried to talk to Laxus, to tell him that we should stop doing this and that it was over but every time I tried he cut me off. In the end I just gave in, he was much larger than I was and there wasn't a lot I could have done to stop him if he tried to force me. I still thought of Natsu every time Laxus and I had sex but now I didn't have to rely on the fantasy; now I knew how he felt wrapped around me, how he shivered as my hands ran over his skin and how he sounded as he moaned my name. It was now a lot harder to keep my thoughts in check when I was with Laxus and I nearly slipped up a couple of times. Luckily he was too caught up in his own pleasure to notice.

One day, however, I did slip up and I slipped up badly.

* * *

><p>I was sitting towards the back of the Guild Hall where I assumed that either no one could see me or no one was paying any attention. I was casually making small ice sculptures before making them disappear in a flurry of ice shards. Now that I had decided to give up smoking I needed something to do with my hands to subdue the cravings and practicing intricate magic was the best thing for me to do. I was crafting the intricate detail on a small ice butterfly's wings when I felt someone sit down beside me. I turned to see Natsu looking over my shoulder at the ice butterfly in my hand.<p>

"What're you doing?" he asked, interested.

"Making ice sculptures." I shrugged. I raised my palm so that he could get a good look at the butterfly before I blew on it gently and it crumbled away, floating into the air.

"That's cool." Natsu grinned. "What other stuff can you do?"

"Loads." I replied shrugging. I had been doing this for a while now (whenever /I craved nicotine) and had become quite good at tiny intricate details. Natsu leaned a little closer, his eyes shining.

"Can I see?" he asked trying, and failing, to hold in his excitement. I cupped one of my hands over the surface of the table and concentrated before pulling it away to reveal a miniature ice sculpture of Lucy and Erza, no bigger than a half pint glass. Natsu's eyes widened as I did the same thing again, this time revealing an ice sculpture of the two of us. "That's amazing!" he exclaimed awestruck.

"It's not as good as it could be." I said modestly. "I still need a lot of practice."

"What are you talking about these are amazing!" he replied. He blushed slighty, looking away before turning to me again. "Um, can I keep this one?" He was pointing to the one of me and him. I smiled as he leaned in ever so slightly.

"It'll melt." I told him. He leaned a little closer.

"Then I'll put it in the freezer." he grinned moving closer still.

"You have a freezer?" I teased. "You hate cold things." He was so close now out noses were almost touching as I had also been unconsciously leaning closer to him too.

"I can think of something cold I like." he whispered, his lips only a few inches away from mine. It would be so easy to just reach over and kiss him. My hand slid across the table till my fingers brushed his and he grinned at me. He cast a quick look around the hall before closing the last of the distance between us but his eyes fell on something and he suddenly jumped back, drawing his hand away from mine as if I were toxic.

"What?" I asked letting out the breath I had been holding. I turned in the direction he was looking and locked eyes with Laxus. He had a face like thunder as he stared in our direction, looking specifically at me. He clenched one of his hands into a fist, a few small sparks flying off it. I felt my heart sink and my blood run cold. "Oh shit!"

* * *

><p>It was nearly midnight by the time I left the Guild Hall that night. I hadn't been able to face leaving before then in case I ended up getting cornered by Laxus. As soon as he saw the look of pure rage Laxus was aiming at me Natsu had backed off, opting instead for talking to Lucy and leaving with her a couple of hours later so as not to get me in any more trouble but the damage was already done. Laxus had seen us nearly kiss and he was going to make me pay for it.<p>

Really I should have gone home a lot earlier, I realised as I walked quickly down the deserted streets, but I hadn't wanted to run the risk of Laxus finding me at home. There was no way that he would run the risk of taking his anger out on me if Gramps and the others were around so I had thought staying and hiding out there was the best policy until it seemed likely that if he had gone looking for me he would have already checked my house. In retrospect I probably should have just stayed at Fairy Hills that night.

As I walked passed the opening of a dark alleyway a hand reached out and grabbed my shoulder. I was roughly pulled inside and then shoved up against the wall. The grain on the bricks dug painfully into my bare back as my assailant pushed me harder into them. I was about to try and fight back when both my hands were grabbed and forced painfully above my head by one of their huge hands. I struggled against the hold, trying to break myself free so that I could fight back but a jolt of electricity shot through my entire body, making my muscles tense painfully and I knew who it was who had grabbed me.

"Laxus…" I said quietly as my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I saw him staring down at me.

"Well hi there," his said, his voice dangerous. "fancy seeing you here."

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice trembling despite my best efforts to keep it steady. "I thought you'd left already."

"I noticed it was getting late and you hadn't left." he stated. "I wanted to make sure you got home safely." As he said that he sent another jolt of electricity coursing through my system. I flinch but kept my lips resolutely sealed – I refused to cry out in pain and give him the satisfaction.

"I can take care of myself." I managed to reply shakily once the pain had stopped and my muscles stopped shaking.

"See that's funny because I thought you'd gotten yourself a new Dragon Slayer bodyguard." he growled. Despite the pain in my shoulders from having my arms forced above my head, despite my still twitching muscles and despite the ever present fear that he could actually kill me if he wanted to I glared up at him defiantly.

"That's what this is about isn't it?" I hissed. "You saw me and Natsu talking and now you're all bent out of shape about it."

"If you call what I saw talking." Laxus snarled pressing me harder into the wall. "From where I was sitting it looked more like you were fucking each other with your eyes." I felt my blood boiling and anger bubbling up inside me.

"What's it to you?" I snapped. "I know I'm not the only one you fuck on a regular basis so why should it piss you off if I do the same?"

"Because you're mine!" he shouted sending more electricity through me. This time even more powerful than before and I could help the cry of pain I let out. I felt as if there were thousands of tiny needles stabbing the inside of my body and trying to push their way out through my skin at the same time. It felt like I was dying but I knew he wasn't done with me yet. He was going to make it as painful as possible first.

When it was finally over I groaned, my head fell forward as my neck felt as if it was made of jelly. My pride wouldn't allow me to give Laxus the satisfaction of thinking he had beaten me. Slowly, and with a great deal more effort than it should have taken, I raised my head to look him, defiantly in the eye.

"I was never yours." I told him, my voice barely above a whisper. He snarled angrily. The hand that wasn't pinning my arms grabbed me by the throat, pressing down on my windpipe so I struggled to breathe. He pulled my off the wall slightly before slamming me against it again. My head hit the brick with a sickening crack and I felt my vision begin to blur, nausea bubbling up inside me and making me woozy. Laxus leaned in close to my face so that I could feel his hot breath hitting my lips.

"Listen, Ice Princess, you're mine, you got that." he sneered. "I can do what I like with you; I want to fuck you, you come running. I want to fuck someone else you deal with it but you're mine completely. If I found out there's something there or if Flame Brain so much as looks at you the wrong way again you're dead." It wasn't an empty threat and I knew it. Despite everything I smirked at him. I was about to play with fire and I knew it was a really bad idea but I wanted him to know that he didn't own me.

"I already fucked him." I told him.

His knee jerked up and connected with my stomach. He let go of my neck and arms and I doubled over in pain, coughing and desperately trying to fight the urge to vomit as I clutched my stomach. He grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled harshly forcing my head back so that I was looking up at him before the back of his hand connected with my face. He let go of my hair, throwing me down on the cold, stone floor.

I managed to push myself up onto my elbows and knees, still trying to catch my breath and fighting the urge to be sick, before another well placed kick in the stomach sent me flat on my face again. I felt a hand slam down on the centre of my spin followed by a searing jolt of electricity that had my entire body jolting and spasming, every nerve and muscle on fire, until the hand drew away and I was able to regain some movement.

Pushing myself up I saw red, angry burns of both my wrists where he had used them to pour volts into me and I could feel the air stinging my back where his hand had been. My head was still spinning from where it had connected with the wall and every so often my vision would begin to fade but I knew I had to remain conscious. I began the lengthy task of pushing myself to my feet in an attempt to try and fight back but I barely succeeded in staggering to my knees before Laxus grabbed hold of me again.

He spun me so I was facing the wall and slammed me up against it, sliding me down slightly to make sure that the brick cut into my skin. I could feel one of my eyes beginning to throb from where he had hit me and I tasted blood on my lip. He forced both my hands behind my back, so that there was no possible way for me to fight against him, twisting them harshly. He twisted one harsher than the other and I cried out as I pain shot up my left hand, hearing bones snap sickeningly over my cries.

Through the hazy fog of pain threatening to take over I was vaguely aware of the sound of a zip being dragged down. I gagged as the hand not holding me reached round to undo the buttons on my trousers. He slipped his hand inside my underwear to firmly grasp my hip, fingers clenching into my skin painfully. I felt the sparks burning me rather saw them and the searing pain that shot through everywhere he touched was monumental. He roughly pulled both my trousers and boxers down, forcing my hips backwards but keeping my face pressed against the wall.

"Now let's see who you really belong to." he hissed in my ear. I felt his cock rock hard at my entrance and I knew what was coming I struggled but the way he had me held there was nothing I could do about it. I tried to brace myself but it was no good as he spread me open and roughly pushing inside me.

It felt as if I was being ripped in half. I opened my mouth to scream in pain but his hand clamped over me so that the sound was muffled against his palm. My entire body shook as the base of my spine throbbed and there was nothing I could do except ride out the pain and try not to pass out. I wanted to. I desperately wanted nothing more than to slip into the darkness that threatened the sides of my vision so badly but I knew it would probably be worse for me in the long run if I did so I fought to stay conscious.

The pain was unbearable as he pulled out to thrust back in. With his hand still clamped down over my mouth I couldn't call for help, all my cries were muffled by him. I could feel my entire body throbbing and stinging in pain and him pulsing inside me. He had always liked it rough but this was worse than any other time we he been together, I wanted to fight him off but with the hold I was in made that impossible. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping and praying that soon it would be over or that someone, anyone, would hear his grunts and my muffled cried and come and save me.

Finally I felt him stiffen behind me, his entire body going ridged and my insides becoming wet and warm as he came. I retched against his hand, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes, god, it had never felt this bad before. I had never felt this sick and disgusted and powerless. Because I was. He was showing me that I was completely powerless against him; just like he said I was his to do with what he liked.

He continued to thrust into me until he had ridden out his orgasm before he pulled out. I could feel his cum beginning to spill out of me and I felt sick to my stomach. I felt the pressure on my back leave and my arms free. As I heard him doing up his zip I slowly managed to make my stiff muscles move so I could pull up my trousers. I cursed under my breath in pain but just about managed to get them done up so I could limp home. I felt his breath at my ear again and my entire body stiffened. He nipped the shell of my ear expectantly; I knew exactly what he wanted to hear, if I said it then it would be over.

"I'm yours." I muttered hoarsely, my voice cracking as tears began to slowly make their way down my cheeks.

"See that you remember that." he hissed before letting me go. I didn't dare to move but when it seemed as if he was letting me free I began so shakily make my way out of the alley. He had only been tormenting me, I realised as he grabbed the back of my head and slammed my face against the wall again. I managed to turn my head just in time so that my nose didn't break but I was now very dizzy and my head was spinning. I let him drag me lifelessly to the edge of the alleyway before he dropped me in the gutter. I felt another kick land itself in my stomach and I distinctly heard him say gruffly "He definitely won't want you now."

I waited until I heard his footsteps heading away from me before I closed my eyes and allowed myself to slip into unconscious, Natsu's name on my lips.


	5. Where The Landslide Brought Me Down

**Two updates in one day: BOOM! (To make up for the lack of one yesterday) I could say a lot about this but all I will say is this; writing this made me sad and I hope I did a good job of Juvia as writing people who speak in the third person are hard.**

I awoke to blinding white light and for a moment I thought I was dead. Then I gradually make out the shape of a lampshade around a very bright bulb. I blinked as the ceiling began to blur into my vision too. I felt a soft mattress underneath me and some kind of blanket covering me, keeping me warm. Wherever I was it was much better than where I last remembered being. I tried to push myself up into a sitting position but as soon as I moved pain shot through my entire body and I winced before opting for lying back down. My entire body was throbbing dully and my head spun from trying to sit up too quickly.

"My darling Gray is awake!" a soft voice said. I turned in the direction of the voice and saw Juvia standing in the doorway of the room holding a large bowl that was steaming slightly, a wash cloth draped over the rim.

"Hey," I croaked, my voice sticking painfully in my throat from inactivity. "where am I?"

"Juvia's house." she replied blushing slightly, looking away as she knelt down next to the bed. "Juvia was walking home when she found where Gray was lying unconscious in the street. She couldn't just leave him there so she brought him back here." I opened my mouth to ask how she had managed to get me back here but I thought better of it. I was too drained to have any real interest.

"Thanks." I replied, not sure what else to say. I mean what do you say to someone who has basically just saved you from bleeding to death in the gutter?

"It's alright," she said still blushing. "Juvia knows that Gray would have done the same for her and he is my beloved Gray after all." She laughed softly before turning her attention to the steaming bowl on the floor in front of her.

Very slowly this time I pushed myself up on my elbows. I still hurt but not quite as much and I managed to push myself up into a seating position, leaning back against the soft pillows. I looked around the room; it was mostly plain, painted a light blue, with a few candid photographs of me taped to the mirror. I was too grateful to her for saving me that I didn't even have time to consider it creepy. I saw a glass of water, which I assumed she had left there for me, on the bedside table. I slowly picked it up and drank, my throat instantly feeling better before I put it back and rested against the pillows

I looked down at her, watching as she soaked the wash cloth in the steaming water that filled the bowl before ringing it out. She looked so different without that huge coat and hat she always had on, in just a short sleeved t-shirt and pyjama trousers. She was very pretty and maybe, in another life where my heart didn't belong to someone else, there could have been something between us. She looked up at me and smiled. I did like it when she smiled. She raised herself up onto her knees so that she was level with my face and began dabbing at my skin with the wash cloth.

"How long was I out for?" I asked, wincing slightly as the hot water stung an open wound.

"At least half an hour." she told me, her attention focused on my face. "That was when Juvia found you but she doesn't know how long you were lying there before that."

"That figures." I chuckled humourlessly. Obviously Laxus had just left me there to die, that was how little I meant to him. When she pulled the wash cloth away I saw that it was covered with blood. She rinsed it out before continuing cleaning off my face.

"Juvia cleaned and dressed most of your injuries," she told me. "She was just about to do the injuries on your face when you woke up." I took hold of her wrist. She stopped and looked down at me.

"Thank you." I said quietly. "You're amazing, you know that right?" She blushed deeply with embarrassment and modesty before turning her attention back to the wounds on my face.

"How did my darling Gray end up there anyway? If he doesn't mind Juvia asking." she added as if she didn't want to offend me. "I mean Juvia couldn't smell alcohol on him and she'd wager that these were done by magic." She nodded towards my wrists which I saw had been bandaged, the bandages ending halfway up my forearms to cover the extent of the damage Laxus' volts had caused.

"You really don't want to know." I mumbled. I turned my face away but she took hold of my chin gently and turned me back to face her so that she could continue cleaning my cuts.

"Please tell Juvia my Darling Gray." she pleaded. I looked up at her and I could see tears in her eyes as she saw how deep some of the wounds on my face went. I sighed. She had dragged my sorry arse out of the gutter and back to hers before dealing with all of my injuries and cleaning me up.

"It was Laxus." I said softly. I felt tears sting my eyes as I remembered the pain and humiliation of him forcing himself on me and being too powerless to do anything about it but pray for it to be over and I looked down at my hands in my lap. "He…" I took a deep breath trying to steady myself, unable to physically say the words. I felt Juvia's soft warm hand on my shoulder and I looked up at her.

"It's ok," she said softly, trying to keep herself from crying too. "Juvia can guess the rest." I let out a shaky breath one of my hands reaching up to cover my eyes as tears slowly made their way down my face.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly. She gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"It's alright," she said softly. "Juvia understands."

"No," I said shaking my head. "it's not alright. I didn't fight back, I goaded him into it. If I had just kept my mouth shut he would never have found out about us and then..." I trailed off, unable to say any more.

"About who?" she asked. If she was angry that I had just basically admitted that I was in love with someone who wasn't her she didn't show it. Probably because she had worked out that I wasn't in to girls by now. I sighed again. I had started now, it only felt right that I should finish.

"Me and Natsu." I told her.

"Is Gray involved with Natsu?" she asked. I nodded.

"Sort of." I replied.

"How so?" she asked. "Juvia knew Gray was involved with Laxus but knew nothing about Natsu."

"Natsu and I aren't anything really." I stated my chest suddenly feeling very hollow as if all the breath had been sucked out of my lungs and all I could feel was crushing despair I had felt as I heard Laxus' parting world playing over and over in my head. 'He definitely won't want you now'. He was right. I was pathetic and helpless; why in the hell would Natsu want someone like me? The tears began to fall harder down my cheeks, the salt stinging my open cuts.

"Then why would Laxus do this if there was nothing between the two of you?" she asked. I took a steadying breath.

"Natsu and I slept together." I told her. I waited for her to react before continuing but she didn't. "Laxus found out and he wasn't happy about it so he made sure that I knew what he was capable of if anything else happened between Natsu and I."

"But Gray doesn't love Laxus, does he?"

"No." I said softly. I didn't know why I was telling her all of this but something about her just made it easy for me to spill everything I had been feeling out. I knew that she wouldn't judge me and would understand.

"Gray loves Natsu." she stated. It wasn't a question, she had worked that much out from what I had, or rather hadn't, already said.

"For as long as I can remember." I sighed. "But there's nothing I can do about it. After this and after not ending things with Laxus after we slept together – and I tried, I really did – there's no way that he'll want me anymore. I should just give up but I can't help it though; I still love him." A pregnant pause hung in the air. I could feel Juvia wanting to say something as she finished cleaning off the wounds on my face. I couldn't look at her though. I couldn't handle the way I knew she would be looking at me; pitying and heartbroken.

"Then Gray should go and tell Natsu how he truly feels." she said softly.

"What?" I asked looking up at her in surprise.

"If Gray is really in love with Natsu then he should go and tell him." she said again. "If Natsu is the one who will deserve my beloved Gray's heart then he will look over everything that has happened between Gray and Laxus in the past."

"But…" I began. I didn't really know what I had been about to protest; she wasn't wrong. I should just go and tell Natsu how I felt about him and, at least, then I would know how he felt about me and I could stop torturing myself. I looked up at her and I saw tear tracks on her face. My heart sank. "But what about you?" I asked. She smiled.

"Juvia will be fine." she told me. "Juvia has accepted that Gray's heart belonged to another a while ago but she can live with it being Natsu. Maybe if things were different Gray would look at her the way he looks at Natsu but Juvia doesn't want to think about that." I felt my heart break. Juvia felt the same way for me that I did for Natsu and I felt terrible that I was unable to return her affections. I reached over, slipping my hand round the back of her neck. I pulled her closer to my face and pressed my lips to her forehead.

"Thank you," I whispered as I pulled away. "for everything." She gave me a watery smile, gently taking hold of my wrist.

"Juvia doesn't mind." she said. "She knows she will always be Gray's friend and as long as Gray is happy, she is happy." I pressed my forehead to hers, squeezing my eyes closed to stop more tears from falling. "Now Gray must go and tell Natsu how he feels." she stated pulling away.

"Yeah." I breathed. I pulled the duvet off me and saw that I was wearing a different pair of trousers to the ones I had been wearing earlier. "How…?" I began. Juvia flushed scarlet.

"Juvia stole them the last time Gray removed them at the Guild Hall." she admitted. "Juvia is sorry if Gray finds it 'weird'." I laughed softly at her use of air quotations. It was rather adorable.

"It's ok." I said shaking my head, getting to my feet, as she handed me one of my own t-shirts. I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tightly when we were both standing. "Thank you so much for everything." She responded by hugging me tightly back.

"Now go and see Natsu before Juvia changes her mind." she laughed softly. I pressed a kiss to her forehead again before I pulled the t-shirt she had given me over my head and left the house with the intention of going straight to Natsu's. If I stopped for anything then my resolve would break and I would go home, open a bottle of whiskey and drink everything away.

I practically ran to Natsu's house, well as much as my injuries would let me, and within minutes I was standing outside his door. I knocked hastily, desperately trying to keep my resolve and courage from breaking and deciding to just cut and run. I heard footsteps from inside and I took a deep breath. He opened the door. His hair was a little ruffled and he was only wearing pyjama trousers – it was clear that he had been asleep or at least dozing. His eyes widened a little in surprise when he saw me.

"Hey." I said softly.


	6. The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway

**This needs no introduction, we all know where it's going so enjoy :D**

Natsu stared at me, his eyes wide as he looked at me, standing in his doorway. I could probably guess that his shock was due to the numerous cut and bruises I was sporting. Until he snapped back to reality all I could do was stand there, my arms folded across my chest self-consciously. I shifted under his gaze until he eventually found his voice.

"What happened to you?" he asked quietly. I should tell him, I should tell him the real reason for my injuries but I couldn't quite bring myself to. Not yet anyway. I knew that he would react badly and then I'd never get round to saying my piece.

"I fell." I muttered. His eyes narrowed, he knew I was lying but he knew that if he pressed the issue I wasn't going to tell him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked softly. The 'I thought you'd want to stay away from me after Laxus saw us together' didn't need to be said but I knew that was what he was thinking. I took a deep breath; it was now or never, I had to tell him how I felt about him or I never would.

"I need to tell you something." I said resolutely. "Something important."

"You better come in then." he replied moving aside to let me pass. I entered the house and he closed the door behind him. I looked around, half expecting to see Happy pop out from nowhere and start questioning me.

"Where's Happy?" I asked when he didn't.

"He said he was going to go fishing tonight because there's some fish school going through the river this exact date and they can only be caught at night. I don't know I wasn't really listening." he admitted. I must admit that I was a little relieved as I don't think I would have been able to get this out with Happy here.

"Ok." I nodded and we fell into an awkward silence. All the resolve that I had been building up since I left Juvia's had left me and now that I was here I couldn't get my vocal chords to work.

"So," he said eventually. "what did you want to talk about?" I took a deep, steadying breath.

"Everything." I stated.

"Does this 'everything' include why you look like you've been someone's punching bag for twenty rounds?" he asked.

"It does." I replied. I waited to see if he would ask anything else but when he made no other reply I realised that I needed to start. "Ok," I said exhaling. "remember when we were kids and you used to walk on the edge of the curb even though Erza told you not to?"

"Yeah," he replied irritably. "and one day you pushed me off, I got hurt and Erza got mad at me." I grimaced, rubbing the back of my head in embarrassment.

"Yeah, well remember after that when we were out in the back corridor?"

"You kissed me," he replied after a pause. "and when I asked you about it afterwards you said you were just fucking with me."

"About that; I lied." I stated. "I kissed you because I love you. I have loved you since as far back as I can remember. I thought you'd never return the feeling so I hooked up with Laxus but then you kissed me on Galuna Island and, god, I felt like my dreams were coming true. But we didn't talk about it and I was too much of a coward to bring it up. Then after the run in with Demon Hoard and we…, well again I didn't tell you how I felt because I'm a coward and I thought you'd never feel the way about me that I do about you. And I can't explain it, I don't even understand it myself but it's just always been there. That's pretty much it really; I love you."

Natsu stared at me for so long I was beginning to wonder if my confession has shocked him into a coma. I shifted under his gaze and waited for him to respond but he continued to stare at me wide eyed. I turned, mumbling an apology and about how this had been a mistake, and made for the door. I couldn't take him staring like that and not saying anything. I felt him grab my arm before I got very far and I turned to see him, a small smile of his face, looking at me. He closed the distance between us, his hands reaching up to cradle my face before he pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.

"You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that." he said, pressing his forehead to mine. His voice was barely above a whisper but it rang in my ears. "Ever since you first kissed me I've been falling more and more in love with you but I thought you were just fucking with me so I tried to hate you instead. It didn't really work. All those years of seeing you hook up with Laxus and trying to smoke yourself to death were torture. Then Galuna Island and Demon Hoard happened and I really thought I was going to lose you. I kissed you and then we…, but I always thought you did it because you wanted sex or because you really were just fucking with me."

"I'm sorry." I whispered reaching up to sink my fingers into his hair, relishing the feeling of having him this close and returning my feelings. "I was stupid when I said it didn't mean anything. I was just scared and thought you were disgusted by me."

"Then you went back to Laxus and…"

"I didn't have a choice." I cut him off. "I tried to end things with him, I really did, but he didn't take too lightly to it. Especially when he saw us in the Guild Hall today, he wasn't going to let that slide without repercussions."

"What?" Natsu pulled away, anger flashing across his eyes. "Are you saying he did this to you?" I blanched.

"That is…, well I mean I…" I began but the words caught in my throat. I looked away, not wanting to meet his eyes. He tightened his hold on my face the tiniest bit to make me look at him.

"Gray," he said softly and I realised that it was one of the few times he had called me by my name rather than one of his usual derogatory nicknames. "did Laxus do this to you?" I nodded. He was going to get the answer out of me one way or another so I might as well tell him now and get it over with.

"When I left the Guild Hall this evening he cornered me. He was angry after seeing us together and he wanted to show me who I belonged to." I explained. "Juvia found me passed out in the street after he had finished with me."

"What?" Natsu growled pulling away from me to slam his fist against the wall. He was shaking with rage and it seemed to be taking all of his self-control not to explode and to stay here rather than go tearing after Laxus. When he seemed a little bit calmer he turned back to me and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly. "God, when I saw the bandages on your wrists I thought you might have done it to yourself." he whispered, his voice shaking. "I had no idea he was that much of a sick fuck."

"It's ok." I said softly, trying to cover up all the pain I was feeling. I didn't want to tell him about Laxus forcing me to have sex with him. It was better for the both of us if that never came out.

"No it's not." Natsu said pulling back slightly. He brushed some of my hair out of my eyes, inspecting the bruises and grazes. "He's sick if he thinks he can treat you like this. He shouldn't be allowed to do this to anyone, especially another member of Fairy Tail."

"There's nothing much I can do about it." I sighed. "He's bigger and stronger than I am; he can force me to do pretty much whatever he likes and if I say anything he'll make it worse for me."

"What do you mean 'force you to do what he likes'?" Natsu asked, his eyes darkening. Shit, I hadn't meant to say that.

"Um…" I hedged. "that is…" I couldn't bring myself to say it. Fuck! Why did he have to pick up on that of all things? He put two and two together from what I had and hadn't said and his face hardened.

"I'm going to kill him." he stated simply. He made to brush past me and out the door but I blocked his path, placing my hands on his shoulders to stop him.

"Please don't." I begged. I knew Natsu meant well but he still wouldn't stand a chance against Laxus and if he attacked him Laxus would spin it so that Natsu ended up getting himself kicked out of the guild.

"Gray he…" He couldn't seem to say the words either. He hung his head before taking a deep breath and looking up at me again. "He can't be allowed to get away with doing this." He took hold of my hands and was about to remove them from his shoulders but I clung to him tighter.

"Just stay," I said quietly. "please?" I leaned over, pressing my lips gently to the corner of his.

"Gray…"

"For tonight." I added. "If you have to kill him, kill him tomorrow. Just stay with me tonight, make me forget about him." Natsu studied me for a moment. I could tell that he still wanted to go find Laxus and tear him to pieces but I felt his hands move up to hold mine. He gave me a small smile.

"That I can do." he said before slipping one of his hands round the back of my neck, pulling me towards him and pressing his lips to mine.

As soon as our lips collided I instantly opened my mouth and wound my fingers in his hair wanting to feel him. He slipped his tongue passed my open lips and began massaging it sensually against mine, making me groan softly into his mouth. Whereas the first time we were together and the first times we kissed it was frantic, desperate and trying to feel as much of each other as possible. This time he seemed as if he was going to do it slowly and completely make me melt.

He slipped the hand that wasn't in my hair down my back to slip underneath the hem of my shirt. His hand was warm as he touched my skin, using his hold to pull me closer to him. My hands also began roaming his body wanting to touch him, map out his entire body and commit it to memory. I still couldn't believe that this had happened the first time, let alone that it was happening now. His other hand went to join the first and he gently pulled my t-shirt over my head, letting it fall to the floor once it was off. His eyes widened as he saw the cuts and bruises littering my chest.

"What?" I asked self-consciously when he didn't say anything. He cradled my face in his hands and softly kissed me again.

"I'm sorry." he whispered against my lips. "This is my fault."

"No it's not." I told him.

"It is." he sighed. "I should have protected you or just stayed away from you in the first place but I couldn't."

"I wouldn't have wanted you to." I told him before kissing him again. As we kissed his hands began to roam my chest taking, care to avoid the grazes, one pausing to rub over one of my nipples. I let my head fall back, breaking the kiss, as a soft moan escaped my lips while he played with me.

"Shall we take this to my room?" he asked, panting. I nodded as he continued to toy with my nipple, unable to form words. Natsu took my hand and led me to the back of the house to his bedroom.

As soon as we were inside he was on me again, kissing me deeply and running his hands up and down my spine, making me shiver and press myself right up against him. The skin to skin contact was amazing and I clung to his shoulder blades to keep our bodies connected. He walked me backwards till I felt the back of my knees hit the edge of the bed. I pulled away from his lips to look round and see that I was right up against his bed before I allowed myself to fall back on to the mattress.

I looked up at him. His eyes were hazy and his cheeks were a little flushed but I didn't have much of an opportunity to look at him before his hands were in my hair and he was kissing me again. I grabbed hold of his wrists, to steady myself. All that was filling my head was Natsu; all thoughts of Laxus and what he had done were gone, all thoughts about the consequences of us doing this were gone and all I could focus on was Natsu's teeth gently tugging at my bottom lip as he lay me down on his bed.

Once my back was against the mattress he climbed on top of me, beginning a trail of hot, open mouthed kissed that spanned my neck, my chest, my stomach and right down to the waistband of my trousers. He paused briefly to swirl his tongue over one of my nipples and I arched off the bed, groaning softly – I had never realised they were that sensitive before. His fingers made short work of the buttons before he took the zip in his teeth and slowly dragged it down.

"Natsu! Please don't stop." I groaned as I felt his hot breath against my erection. He raised an eyebrow as he noticed my lack of underwear and grinned up at me.

"Commando?"

"I think Juvia has them." I blushed deeply, turning my face away. I heard him chuckle as he began slipping my trousers down and off, leaving me completely bear beneath him.

"You realise you're never getting those back right?"

"Probably not." I replied also chuckling. I wasn't too fused either way. I pushed myself up onto my elbows as I heard the sound of gel being squirted out of a tube. I saw Natsu holding a tube of lubricant, spreading some of it over his fingers with one hand. He put the tube down on the mattress.

"I want to do this properly." he stated and my stomach tightened slightly. He trailed a slick fingertip over my erection, making my cock twitch, over my balls and down to my entrance before sliding the first finger in.

He had put enough lube on to make the penetration virtually painless and soon I was begging for more. He then added a second finger, thrusting them deep inside me, stretching me and making sure to rub against my insides every time he pulled out. I could feel heat coiling in my stomach, especially when his tongue began to swirl the tip of my cock, and I was pretty sure I wouldn't last that much longer if he continued like this.

"Natsu," I panted. "I'm ready."

"You sure?"

"I need you inside me." I replied, whimpering slightly as he pulled his fingers out and rid himself of his pyjama bottoms. "Wait," I suddenly thought as he made to slick himself up with more lube. "do you have a condom?"

"What for?" he asked, confused. It was a fair question; we had already had sex without one but there was another reason I was thinking about it and it had only just occurred to me.

"Laxus could have given me anything and I don't…" I tailed off, looking away. The hand that wasn't covered in lube took hold of my chin and turned my head to face him before he kissed me softly again.

"Sure, it's ok." he replied before sliding off the end of the bed to retrieve a condom from a box under his bed, where presumably he got the lube from too. He tore the package open before sliding the latex over himself and slicking his cock up with plenty of lube. I spread my legs as he climbed on top of me, positioning himself at my entrance. I reached a hand around the back of his head and pulled him down into another heated kiss and as our lips met he slid inside me.

Both of us moaned into each other's mouths as he filled me completely. I felt so relaxed being with him he didn't have to wait too long before he was able to pull out before sliding back inside me, building up to a steady rhythm. He hitched both of my legs up to rest on his hips, allowing him to plunge deeper into me. I clutched at his back as he hit my prostate, his muscles rippling under my touch and my eyes filling with stars. Spurred on by my moans of bliss he sped up and that was my undoing.

"Natsu," I moaned against his lips. "I'm going to cum."

"Me too." he panted, sweat forming on his forehead and his eyes glazing over slightly. Supporting himself on one arm he reached down with his lube slick hand to pump my cock in time with his thrusts. The assault on both my cock and prostate was too much for me and with a cry of his name I came, hard, coating both of our stomach's with my cum. I felt his entire body go ridged and heat pooled inside me as he filled the condom.

Before he collapsed on top of me he pulled out, rolling to the side so that he wouldn't crush me. Both of us lay panting, staring up at the ceiling for a few moments until we had caught our breath. I turned to look at him and saw him smiling at me, I smiled back. He leaned over and kissed me softly, running his hands through my damp hair, and I felt every bit of love and affection he had for me in it. He pulled back, still smiling, and I sighed contentedly.

"We shouldn't have done this." I stated. Despite my words I was happy that we had and Natsu could tell that.

"Why not?" he said grinning as he removed the condom and handed me some tissue so I could clean myself up.

"Because if Laxus finds out about this he'll probably kill me this time." I replied throwing the soiled tissue into the bin next to the bed. Natsu took me in his arms and pulled me close to his chest.

"I'll never let that happen." he whispered. "No matter what happens I'll be there for you and I'll always try to make you smile when things get rough. I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered back. We lay there in each other's arms until we began to fall asleep, when we climbed under Natsu's duvet. He wrapped his arm around me, pressing his chest up against my back. He pressed a gentle kiss to my shoulder before falling asleep. I had no idea what was going to happen with Laxus; whether Natsu really would try and kill him in the morning or if I'd ever be free from him if he didn't but I knew that as long as I had Natsu, finally, by my side loving me back then everything was going to be alright.

**Basically I imagined this to happen just before the Fairy Tail games and Laxus gets himself kicked out so Gray doesn't have t deal with him anymore. This was always where I intended to end it however, hope you enjoyed it and I hope the ending wasn't super mushy, gotta make it happy at the end though :D Thank you for all your reviews and everything I will respond to them all asap 3**


	7. Each Touch Belongs To Each New Sound

**Ok so basically here's what happened with the end of chapter 6: my goldfish died, I got sad, I got sick (not because of the goldfish) and I just sort of didn't really want to do anymore. I have now taken some time to write an actual proper ending (of sorts) to make up for being naff. Hope you enjoy it :)**

The next morning I had awoken to Natsu coming into his bedroom with a tray, two plates filled with pancakes along with two steaming mugs of coffee. I slowly sat up in bed, all my muscles protesting slightly; I was still pretty fucking sore. Last night might have been a mistake (in the physical sense) and it was going to take even longer for me to recover from some of my injuries now. I didn't care though. Natsu placed the tray down on his bedside table, took my face in his hands and kissed me softly.

"Morning." he grinned as he pulled away.

"Morning." I replied grinning back at him. "How long was I asleep?"

"Not long," he replied. "You look really adorable when you're asleep you know that right?" I blushed.

"Shut up." I pouted, turning away. He laughed so I turned back to pull a face at him. "So what did I do to warrant this treatment?"

"Do I need a reason to want to treat you to pancakes in the morning?" he asked. I raised an eyebrow at him as he slipped back into bed with me.

"There are so many sarcastic answers I could give to that question." I responded. He chuckled.

"Ok, ok." he said handing me one of the plates. "It's partially because I wanted to do something to show you how much you mean to me and how much I really want to make a go of this."

"And?" I asked suspiciously.

"It's partially because the eggs were going to go out of date." he admitted.

"I think your honesty is what I like the most about you." I grinned before taking a bite. The eggs may have been going out of date but these were the best pancakes I had ever eaten in my entire life! I had no idea Natsu could cook like this. "These are really good." I told him. I didn't want the praise to go to his head so I didn't go over the top with it.

"I'll take that." he grinned. "So did you have any plans for today?"

"Not really." I said after a moment's thought. "Considering as I didn't really expect any of last night to happen whatever plans I might have had would have gone out the window anyway. Why?" I added a second later. "Did you?" Natsu shrugged.

"I was thinking we could just stay here for the entire day seeing as neither of us has anywhere to be." he stated. The idea sounded perfect; staying with Natsu, in bed, all day. It might actually do me some good all things considered.

"What about the rest of the guild?" I asked as a grin began to spread over my face. "Won't they miss us?" Natsu waved me off.

"I doubt they'd even notice we were gone." he replied.

"Probably not." I said, voicing my thoughts out loud. Natsu put his plate back down on the tray and turned to look at me. Tentatively he reached out and ran a finger, gently, over one of the grazes on my cheek. He hung his head, his hand drawing away.

"I'm sorry." he said softly. I took hold of his wrist, bringing his hand back to my face and pressing a soft kiss to the back of it.

"It wasn't your fault, you know that right?" I asked him. He sighed.

"Are you sure?"

"Laxus was going to explode like that at me at some time or another." I shrugged. "It wasn't a case of 'if' it was more a case of 'when'. He's really easy to piss off and he's also really violent regardless. I just didn't expect his explosion to be quite like that though." I rubbed my hand over my eyes trying to repress the memory of the previous night that threatened to come to the surface of my mind. I felt Natsu's hand on my shoulder and I looked over at him.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." I replied.

"Last night, when you came over," he began tentatively, as if he didn't really want to ask or receive an answer to the question. "after, you know, everything else that happened to you why did you then…?"

"Why did then I effectively ask you for sex?" I asked.

"Well yeah." he replied. "I would have thought that after everything that would have been the last thing on your mind for a long time. I mean I went along with it because you were quite insistent about it but there was always something in the back of my mind telling me that it was a bad idea and not just because of Laxus finding out about it but because of…other stuff."

"Honestly?" I asked rubbing my hair with one of my hands. "I mean don't get me wrong everything I said about being in love with you since we were kids and not being able to get you out of my head were all true but, after Laxus last night, I needed to have sex with someone but on my terms."

"How do you mean?"

"I chose to have sex with you last night." I stated. "It needed to be able to make that choice and it had to be on my terms. Do you get what I'm saying?" I wasn't explaining myself particularly well but I think he seemed to understand.

"I do, I'm just trying to work out why?" he asked.

"Otherwise I would never have touched another human being again." I replied a little sadly. It was true; I knew that if I hadn't had sex with someone soon afterwards that was on my terms (regardless of whom it had been with, I would have ended up shrinking deeper and deeper into myself. I would have shut myself away from the world just becoming more and more afraid until I couldn't make physical contact with anyone. I would have let it consume me, not allow anyone to help me and probably would have tried to end it all again. The fact that it had been Natsu last night – with someone that I really love and care about – had just made the whole thing much easier to deal with.

"I can see your thought process behind that." he stated after thinking over what I had just told him. "I don't fully understand, and I probably never will, but I just want to make sure that you're ok."

"I'm just trying not to think about it at the moment." I sighed. "If I think about it then it's real and I have to face him again next time I go to the guild and I have to remember it every single time I see him. To be honest I'd rather just spend the day with you right now." I added turning to smile at him. He smiled back and I saw him visibly relax. He leaned back against the headboard of the bed, making himself comfy before taking my empty plate, putting it with his and gently pulling me down so that my head was resting on his chest.

"That's definitely an idea I can get behind." he stated. "Worry about everything else tomorrow?"

"Please." I replied.

"About tomorrow?" he began, his fingers absentmindedly drawing circles along the top of my arm.

"Yeah?"

"Well you know it's the Harvest Festival tomorrow?" He was hedging around the question and I grinned against his chest, realising what he was about to ask.

"What about it?" I asked. I didn't feel like making it easy for him plus it would be nice to hear him actually say the words.

"I was wondering if you perhaps wanted to go with me at all?" he asked. The tone of his voice suggested that if he wasn't bothered either way but from where my head was I could hear his heart hammering in his chest and I wasn't fool in the slightest. I glanced up at him and he was blushing slightly, I chuckled.

"That would be nice." I replied smiling. A grin spread across his face.

"Cool."

"Wait!" I suddenly realised after a moment's thought.

"What?"

"We can't," I told him. "Laxus will be there." If he saw Natsu and I together there was every possibility that he might just kill me this time. Natsu kissed my forehead and tightened his hold on me.

"Don't worry about him," he stated. "I'll take care of it."

"But…" I began but he cut me off with another kiss.

"Don't worry, just come with me and have fun, ok." he stated. "I said I'd protect you and I will. If Laxus tries anything he's going to have to go through me first alright?"

"Ok." I replied even though I didn't think it would be.

* * *

><p>Natsu and I spent the entire day in bed talking, kissing and just lying there enjoying each other's company. It was wonderful. The following day we went to the Harvest Festival together. I made extra effort to make sure I kept my clothes on because I didn't want the rest of the guild asking questions as to why I looked like I'd gone a few rounds with something twice my size. For the most part, though, I was able to relax as Laxus was nowhere to be seen. Then everything suddenly changed.<p>

Laxus and the rest of his goons in 'The Thunder Legion' staged an attack on both the guild and the town. They held the town and some of the female members of the guild hostage and got the rest of us to battle it out against them and each other in order to save them. I never came across Laxus in the fight (and that was probably a good thing too) but I did just about manage to get a fair amount of brawling in, despite still healing injuries.

It was a difficult fight for all involved but eventually we as a guild managed to beat Laxus and 'The Thunder Legion'. Now that most of the rest of the guild needed some kind of patching up I didn't have to be quite so conscious of covering up the bandages I was already sporting. No one asked and Juvia, bless her, never said anything to state otherwise where they had come from. It wasn't until after I had been given a once over by Mira that I went looking for Natsu. I found him practically covered in bandages, wincing as Erza finished covering the last of his wounds.

"My god you look awful!" I exclaimed. It hadn't quite meant to come out like that but he still let out a soft chuckle.

"Thanks." he replied. Erza glared at me.

"You try going a few rounds with Laxus and see if you look any better." she snapped. Natsu and I shared an awkward look that she didn't seem to catch.

"So what's the damage?" I asked him. He shrugged as much as his injuries would allow him.

"Nothing much." he lied.

"Couple of broken fingers, a broken wrist, bruised ribs, a twisted ankle, shattered clavicle and mild concussion." Erza reeled off packing bandages back into the first aid kit on the floor. I sank to my knees so I was level with him and took the hand that was covered in the least bandages.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"It's ok." Natsu replied trying to grin at me but it came out as more of a grimace and he winced in pain.

"No it's not." I replied quietly. "I can assume that he gave you a few extra hits because of what happened between us?"

"I got in a few lucky hits of my own." he replied. "Even gave him a few for you." he added. I gave his hand the gentlest of squeezes.

"Thank you." I said quietly. From his other side Erza got to her feet.

"I'm going to check on a few other people," she stated. "Gray will you make sure he stays here and doesn't try to move too much?"

"Sure." I nodded. I waited until after she had left before I leaned over and very softly kissed Natsu's forehead. He winced slightly again.

"Why is it," he began grimacing. "that whenever I get injured I always get her patching me up?" I laughed.

"You're just lucky?" I offered.

"She's not gentle; she's a psycho." he groaned theatrically but grinned all the same. I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing.

"So what happens now?" I asked after a pause.

"What do you mean?"

"With us and Laxus and everything." I clarified. Natsu's looked at me in confusion.

"You haven't heard?" he asked.

"Heard what?"

"Laxus has been kicked out." he told me.

"What?"

"Erza told me." he stated. "Once he'd been bandaged up Gramps went to see him and told him that because of what he'd done today he had to leave Fairy Tail."

"So that means…?" I began tailing off, afraid to voice it out loud just in case it turned out not to be true. Could it finally be over? I could actually be with Natsu without having to worry about looking over my shoulder for him all the time? That would be too much of a dream come true.

"You don't have to worry about him anymore." Natsu told me, smiling. I shakily let out the breath I'd been holding. I didn't quite know how to feel about this. On the one hand I was absolutely elated that I didn't have to worry about Laxus anymore, I was so happy that I could actually be with the person I loved and not have to worry about getting killed for it. On the other hand I was terrified of the thought that I could actually be happy for once and not have to burry my feelings underneath resentment and dislike. After doing that for so long the idea of not was quite scary. "Hey," Natsu began when I didn't say anything. "you ok?"

"Yeah." I replied, a smile spreading across my face. I was just going to go with elated for this one. "I think I am."

* * *

><p>That night the celebrations for the Harvest Festival carried on. Despite everything that had happened that day everyone seemed more than happy to forget it and enjoy themselves and Fairy Tail were no objection. For the first time in months I felt at ease and, even though various parts of my body still hurt from the last few days, I could just enjoy myself without having to worry about anything.<p>

As Laxus walked out into the crowded streets of Magnolia for the final time, everyone in the guild stopped to watch him leave. I raised my arm in our guild salute along with all the others as he left – despite everything that had happened between us I felt as if it would be disrespectful not to. He turned back one last time and as he did our eyes locked. I stared defiantly back at him, standing tall and proud to show him that he no longer had any hold over me at all. A flash of something crossed his face before he turned and walked away but I couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling at that point. All I knew was that he was gone and relief flooded over me.

"Hey," a voice said from beside me. I turned to see Natsu standing next to me. I smiled at him. "you ok?" He slipped the hand with the least bandages on into mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. I returned the gesture, trying not to aggravate any of his injuries.

"Yeah," I replied, nodding and smiling at him. "I am." And for the first time in years I actually meant it.

**There we go, that's slightly better...it's been a very long month T.T**


End file.
